Spousal abuse is a widespread sin that many churches ignore at their—and their members’—peril
Hidden violence and trauma comes in many forms within an abusive marriage. This is what most of my website has been dedicated to addressing for almost the last five years. I want to bring to light that which has remained concealed in darkness through most of history. I’m grateful beyond words that the topic is being addressed by authors and news outlets with high international viewership, and professional expertise.
My goal isn’t simply to pull back the blinds on abusive spouses and find safety, sanity, and healing for the victims. My prayer is that God will miraculously, through the church, bring these abusers to a place of healing. Statistics tell is this is nearly if not completely impossible. It can happen, but the abuser must begin with admitting their sin/abusive character (many have a personality disorder – all are angry and controlling)), they must want the help, and they must seek long-term, professional help from a counselor who works with abusers. Marital counseling is not an option during this time. A victim cannot be expected to sit in the same room with the abuser. The abuser must first seek help and healing.
Here is an excerpt from WORLD magazine…
“As these three cases suggest, refereeing domestic abuse situations is not easy. They often do not provide obvious evidences of broken bones or bruises. Most of the damage from domestic abuse is invisible: It involves repetitive behaviors that terrorize, dehumanize, objectify, degrade, and control spouses. Such abuse is a hammer to the soul, pounding over and over at the personhood, dignity, and freedom of a spouse.
Many church leaders don’t understand the dynamics and effects of domestic abuse, or don’t even believe that such evil exists in their pews. Instead of addressing the deeper heart issue behind abuse, church leaders typically address the behaviors by recommending anger management counseling, couples therapy, confession, and forgiveness.”