Hi, my name is Carolyn.
I’m an abuse advocate who encourages the relationally oppressed to reclaim their voice, worth, safety, strength, gifting, and purpose. I’ve lived through this battle. I was married to an angry, abusive pastor suffering severe mental illness, a personality disorder, and who had deep sexual addictions. When I left him I lost all my friends in the ministry; except for one married couple. The few ministry friends who cared to ask what the problem was didn’t believe me; the rest simply didn’t inquire. Thankfully the church staff of my home church where I grew up was very supportive, with the exception of some church members. The harshness that some people dealt me was severe and I was devastated; retraumatized. Years later my former husband went to prison for the rest of his life because of his addictions that led to sex crimes against children.
Here is the creative spin I put on my life as a mom:
- I customize an education for children of different ages, learning styles, needs and interests.
- Research analyst in childhood development with special emphasis on: psychology, learning disabilities, and traumatic brain injury rehabilitation. (See #1)
- Researcher and participant in practical application for: Thriving despite difficult circumstances. (See #2)
The only reason I am passionate about the above is because I desire for my children to become everything God has created them to be; for His purpose, His glory, and their good.
May all three be found loving the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength; and found loving and serving others.
I don’t want to place God in a box and tell Him what He can and cannot do, or what I can or cannot do. God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)
I understand that everything about this journey God has me on will meet with the unexpected. In my life, my enemy (Satan) has always tried to stop, or discourage me, before beginning or accomplishing any calling from God. SO…I’ve had to learn to wear the full armor of God, wield my spiritual sword, and fight with the power of God. Confess. Decree. My favorite way to fight is praying scripture out loud over my relationships and circumstances. For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword. Hebrews 4:12 (NIV)
Fight! Prisoners are freed! Don’t accept your victimhood as your identity. Don’t justify why you can’t change or accept your plight. Put on your new man/woman in Christ and fight to walk in who you are. You can do it!
I blog about:
- My prayer life; God’s leading and His answers. Ordinary people are the history makers through the power of prayer.
- Toxic relationships. Many people don’t realize they are living with a toxic spouse, or are in a toxic relationship with family, a friend, or co-worker. (I understand tone is lost in written prose so understand this is said in gentleness; not degrading those who suffer from mental illness). Just because we are Christians does not mean we have to be walked all over, verbally shredded, emotionally manipulated, physically harmed, sexually abused or backed in the corner by those suffering from mental illness who refuse to seek help and healing, by those who refuse treatment for their personality disorder, or by those who refuse to turn from their wrong choices. Boundaries are necessary. Safety is achievable. Love is essential.
- Destructive marriages fall under the category of toxic relationships. I desire to educate the church body on helping people in abusive/destructive marriages. For too long Christians have placed the importance of the institution of marriage over the safety, sanity, and health of the abused spouse and children. The Bible has numerous passages on how to deal with unfaithful, emotionally destructive, foolish abusers.
- Et Cetera: consists of home projects, service projects, and occasionally my most asked for recipes; chocolate and Tex-Mex. My favs! Maybe I should say were…since I now live an auto-immune protocol life style for auto-immune diseases. I’m quickly learning to adjust these recipes for my specific needs.
Are you limping like Jacob (Genesis 32:22-31), waiting on fulfillment of a calling on your life like Joseph (Genesis 37-47), or being delivered through the fire like Shadrack, Meshach and Abed-nego (Daniel 3:8-30)? Be encouraged. Be empowered. Be on your knees in prayer. Then—be blessed; in good times, in despair, and everything in between.
Christian blogger, St. Louis, Missouri
(Over qualified in the areas of trauma and toxic relationships.)
DEEP ROOTS art used with permission and provided by Victory Road @ Etsy. Find a full line of Victory Road’s DEEP ROOTS merchandise at Society6. In the search bar enter Victory Road to find DEEP ROOTS.
Or check out artist Kayann Ausherman’s website and blog here.