Tag Archives: desperate prayer

Weebles Wobble But They Don’t Fall Down

Saturday, as I prayed about what God wanted me to share in my next blog I realized I had not spent any time reading the Bible that day and had not given God an invitation to speak to me about it. I woke early and immediately began the task of purging our school room of games, puzzles, manipulatives and curriculum that my children had outgrown combined with thirteen years of Riley’s school work which I had kept on file. Okay, that was putting a spin on the situation. Thirteen years of papers were piled in the bottom of the closet. I did not mean to keep all her work, it was just that by the beginning of her second grade I was pregnant, sick from pregnancy, recovering from pregnancy and then began the entire pregnancy thing over again. Add in moving a couple of times plus extreme stress brought on by an unstable neighbor which lead to another move for our family… followed by my son A.J.’s severe traumatic brain injury and therapy… all while teaching Riley, A.J. and Colson at home and well, there you have it…a closet floor ‘file-pile’ of school work.

Before bed that night I sat down with a little bit of chocolate and worked through my Bible study allowing God to impress upon my heart scriptures and ideas to encourage women struggling through tough hard-hitting seasons.

My heart goes out to women feeling hopeless while living through difficult circumstances. Some sweet women may wonder if there is something painfully wrong with them. They may desire to figure out what so they can change it, seek healing for it, or attempt to make their circumstances better. The difficulty could include a spouse, loved one, neighbor, co-worker or boss. Do you feel hopeless?  This blog sight is really for you. There is always hope. No one can steal hope from you because your hope is in God and no one can take Him away from you. Likewise no one can take your soul from you for it belongs to God alone once you accept His Son as your Savior. So grab on to hope…it is yours! Take your difficult situations and shine God’s word on it knowing He will use it for purpose if you allow Him to do so.  Do you find yourself constantly thinking, “There is nothing normal or healthy about this circumstance or relationship. Is it me, is it them, or is it both of us?” God knows. Inquire.

God’s word, Bible study, and prayer always see me through. Make no mistake; Satan wants to steal my testimony, my marriage, my children, my sanity and my daily walk with the Lord. This means that I must invite God into all areas of my heart, soul, mind and strength and seek protection over those I love. I have never had a day in my existence when I spent time with the Lord that I thought, “That was time wasted.” Never! I love Him more every single time. More and more and more.

I prayed over scriptures I read Saturday night and asked God for confirmation that this was indeed His idea and not mine.

The next morning at church during praise and worship a member of the worship team read scripture from 1 Samuel 30 of the Amalekites taking captive women, sons and daughters, both young and old who were the family members of David and his men. David inquired of the LORD, “Shall I pursue this raiding party? Will I overtake them?” “Pursue them,” the LORD answered. “You will certainly overtake them and succeed in the rescue.”

Confirmation. I knew the Lord wanted me to share about one of my battles during which I inquired of the Lord. A deeply personal battle which God has not given me liberty regarding details being revealed at this time. In my mind I was thinking, “No way. Really? Must I?” I can be such a whiner. I need to reframe it as, “May I?”

My testimony revolves around prayer. I cannot pray better than anyone else. I do not pray more than most and God does not listen to my prayers above anyone else’s prayers. I just simply pray and my favorite way to pray is recalling to God His own words. I have fun submitting to Him any and all precedence’s I can find that could be applied to my need, my thankful heart, or my victory. In this way the burden of effective prayer does not depend on my ability, or lack thereof, to communicate with God. It rests on His word and Him alone. The best part is that God loves to answer me, thrill me, grow me and pull me closer to His heart. He will do the same for you although not necessarily in the same way. Just as parents respond to their children who have different personalities, different love languages and different needs; God responds to us individually.

This particular ‘battle’ conversation with God was a few years ago, around the midnight hour after my children were fast asleep and my husband was working, covering for another manager, on the late shift at work. I had been fighting a deep spiritual battle for years which goes back to Satan trying to kill, steal and destroy everything dear to me. The fight that day had taken every ounce of my strength and I was humbly lying sprawled out on my floor face down in reverence, praying and crying so hard…so long. I could not stop thinking about this battle, praying over this situation, begging for God’s help because years of prayer were not helping the problem. Instead it kept growing worse. I told God I trusted Him and wanted to obey Him more than anything but for the second time in a couple of months I thought I would have to call an ambulance to come and get me because I just could not come out of this despair and stop my crying. I told God that I could not do this anymore. I was tired of being the only person fighting for this. I was the only one who cared about a victory; besides God himself. I told God that it was over. I was finished fighting for something I thought God had given me. I felt the need to remind Him that I was in this exact predicament out of obedience to Him. I told God that I knew He could see the entire plan and the outcome, but I could not and I was not taking another step in that direction unless He clearly showed me that I must. As in tomorrow…or I am finished. This praying, crying and wrestling with God lasted over an hour before I finally sang Him a song. I could barely get the words out but I had to refocus my problem through His viewpoint and not my own. I sobbed as I sang Him a love song, You Are My All in All, and allowed Him to calm my weary heart and tend to my raw nerves. He is so good at this. He always picks me up, puts me back together, dusts me off, and sends me on my way. God keeps me from staying down when I fall over…its like being a Weeble Wobble.

I went in the bathroom to wash my face and found that I had once again cried so hard that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. Half of my eye ball was shrouded in fresh blood.

The next morning I woke up mindful of my conversation with God hours earlier when I told Him I was finished fighting this battle unless He showed me otherwise. I rolled over, picked up and opened a devotional book I had just begun the day before.

Next week I will share the devotion I read that morning and you can decide if God answered me.

“Prayer is not preparation for the work; prayer is the work.”

-Oswald Chambers


Shared from the blog of Anne Graham Lotz

9 1 1: One Hour of Prayer

Aug 28, 2014

The end of all things is near.  Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.  1 Peter 4:7

Following dinner the night Jesus was betrayed, He took His disciples with Him to  Gethsemane and asked them to watch and pray.  When He checked on them, He found them sleeping. I can almost hear His voice choking with emotion as He said, Could you men not keep watch with Me for one hour?Because He knew the seriousness of the hour.  He knew His arrest, betrayal, trials, crucifixion, death and burial were imminent.  He knew His disciples needed to be pre-prayed.  Instead, they went back to sleep.  As a result they were totally unprepared for the events of the next three days.

When God commands us to pray, it’s for a reason. He knows what’s coming. And I know He has commanded me to pray.  Now.  For Jerusalem. While I’m not sure of the reason, I wonder if it’s because something very dramatic is going to happen in the Epicenter. Could it be the rapture of the church is imminent?  Could it be, when that moment comes and every born again believer is caught up to be with Jesus, along with the Holy Spirit who indwells them and presently restrains evil, that Israel will be more alone in the family of nations than she ever has been since her rebirth in 1948? Could it be that at that moment God will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem a spirit of grace and supplication?  Is it at that moment that they will look on the One they have pierced, and recognize Him as their Messiah?

While I don’t know the answers to these questions, I am utterly convinced it’s time to pray for Jerusalem. For just one hour…

To pray for those living in His land, visit 911 Pray for Jerusalem for written prayers and scriptures to pray.

Because Life’s Not a Beach…

The below blog post is by a dear friend of mine.

To me she has been the poster mom for ‘Thriving Despite Difficult Circumstances’ since I met her fourteen years ago.

I watched through curious eyes and heart as she taught her eight exceptionally smart and sweet spirited children in her home. She managed to homeschool her kids while dealing with the considerable health needs of her two youngest children coupled with endless doctor appointments. All this while imparting to her children the most important lesson of all: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Luke 10:27

Less than one year ago ‘Poster Mom’ experienced every mom’s worst nightmare, “upset just around the next bend.” I remember the moment I realized what she was saying from across the World Wide Web.

I went to my knees sobbing and praying on her behalf.

“No Lord, please no! Please don’t require this of her! I know life is not fair but this is too much. I don’t know how she handles her auto immune disease while caring for a son whose own auto immune diseases have threatened to take his life more times than I can remember. Her life has been difficult on so many levels and yet she doesn’t complain. She proclaims Your name and gives You glory. Please undo this for her. Show her a miracle—show her Your glory! ‘Lord, I have heard of Your fame; I stand in awe of Your deeds, Lord. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known,’ (Hab. 3:2) I have seen You do it—please do it for her today.”

This is where Sovereignty met her trust and her love for Him.


alarm clock


Church, body of Christ, we must repent!

“if my peoplewho are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” II Chronicles 7:14

Notice this scripture does not say, “My creation,” “All people,” or “Your nation.” It says, “My people, who are called by my name,” referring to the people who believe in and worship the ONE TRUE GOD.

For the next several days I will be referring to Anne Graham Lotz and her 777 campaign, An Urgent Call to Prayer. I’m sad to say I did not learn of this campaign or listen to Anne Graham Lotz speak at the National Day of Prayer until last Wednesday via god.tv.  God has clearly placed a responsibility on her to sound the alarm to American Christians that judgment is coming.

I was so disappointed to realize I had missed the 7 days of prayer campaign but since God lives in eternity and not in time, and since God knows our hearts, I believe He will still accept our participation; even at a late date.

Are we going to listen to Anne Graham Lotz or are we going to treat her as the Israelites treated the Old Testament prophets.  The people did not want to hear from God through His prophets. The Israelites were enjoying life, becoming complacent and their complacency led to sin. The people did not want burdened with worship, acts of service, repentance, truth or tithes. They wanted to follow false leaders. They forgot the law of sowing and reaping.

As a mom raising children in this generation to understand the Lord’s love for them; to love the Lord, seek Him, and stay pure seems impossible yet my faith is in the Lord. You’ve heard the idiom, “Never place all your eggs in one basket.” Well, I am. I am resolved to make everything dependent on one person, God. I am placing all my resources, energy, talents, gifts, finances, children, my marriage, and my reputation at His feet; my only course of action. I don’t even consider it a risk. I am confident I will reap what I sow.

Surely God must be ready to end this corrupt world where people  who call themselves, “Christian,” devalue life, murder their children while in the womb, crave excessive materialism, live for participation in the next sexual sin , practice deceitfulness as a positive quality trait, and throw off all self-control calling good bad and bad good.

We, the church, are toxic and our toxicity spilled over on those around us. The world became corrupt because God’s people, the church, failed in her mission. We have failed to understand God’s love for us, God’s protection through His laws, and the blessings God wants to pour down on us.

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This is an essential lesson. Please watch and listen.

Toxic Tuesday: Pedophile or Molester?

Today’s Toxic Tuesday post will discuss child predators/pedophiles/molesters. Not all toxic people are pedophiles but all pedophiles are toxic. Pedophiles prey upon children simply because they can.TOXIC TUESDAY warning

What does a pedophile look like? They don’t necessarily look like a creepy, dirty or unkempt person; in fact, they usually dress nicely to attract children to themselves. Examples we have heard of in the news over the last two years are: athletic coaches/personnel, teachers both male and female, pastors and priests, a bus driver, Sunday School teachers, babysitters, neighbors, friends, day care workers, mothers, fathers, siblings, grandfathers, uncles, cousins, a spouse, a shopper in Wal-Mart, swimmers at water parks…are you understanding how far-reaching abuse goes? It could be anyone anywhere at any time.

Why do pedophiles molest?

They have an unnatural sinful desire which could stem from their own childhood trauma, from viewing pornography and/or from mental illness. I am in no way saying that all mentally ill people molest; they do not, the thought never enters their mind. But mental illness can be a contributing factor for some pedophiles.

They are hurting flawed individuals who do not have the courage to seek help and healing; or if they do seek it—the dark memories are so overwhelming they choose to leave them where they are instead of bringing them into the light.

Many pedophiles in a position of authority often know a child’s mental state and family conditions because a parent confides in them; believing that the teacher, pastor, neighbor, friend, or (you fill in the ___________) will have the child’s best interest at heart.

They love the trill of not being caught. For many; they want to be caught and even leave clues yet are exhilarated when they are not discovered.

The most alarming reason, to me, that predators prey on children is society’s silence. People decide to cover it up, not report it or not believe it. Always believe the child. Do not confront the abuser. Report the abuser and allow the law to investigate. “Easy Lie = “No, it didn’t happen” / Most Difficult Lie = Detailed report of a traumatic event. False allegations of child abuse are rare.” netgrace.org.  Many people want no involvement in the process of bringing an offender to justice. Why? It is emotionally draining, judicially slow and financially difficult. There is rarely an eyewitness who saw what happened to the child. By the time the child tells what happened to them, if ever they tell what happened to them; the DNA evidence is usually washed away.  97% of rape cases are never reported. According to dosomething.org; 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 18. This statistic holds true for the Christian community. 90 percent of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way. 68 percent are abused by a family member. Many adults believe the pedophile/molester over the victim; telling the victim to shut up and stop causing problems. Silence is breaking children.

You may be asking, “Is there a difference between pedophiles and molesters?” The answer: Yes.

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 Pedophiles and Child Molesters: The Differences (calcasa.org)

Although virtually all pedophiles are child molesters, not all child molesters are pedophiles. Pedophiles have a clear sexual attraction for children. The focus of a pedophile is a child or children generally under the age of 13. Pedophiles often report they are attracted to children in a particular age range (DSM-IV). Child molesters are sexual offenders who have committed either intra-familial sexual offense (incest) against a child victim or extra-familial sexual offenses against a child victim or both.


* True pedophiles may abuse family members, but the majority of their offenses is extra-familial and is directed toward vulnerable children whom they court or groom for the purpose of victimization. Their relationships with children are based on exploitation of the children for sexual gratification.

* Offenders, who seek out children to victimize by placing themselves in positions of trust, authority, and easy access to youngsters, can have hundreds of victims over the course of their lifetimes.

* Pedophiles, especially those who molest boys, or both boys and girls, are the sex offenders who have the highest recidivism (relapse) rates after incarceration and/or treatment.

* Pedophiles frequently are uncomfortable with adult intimacy and may spend their lives maneuvering to be near children. They may be extremely charming and skilled at manipulating adults, and they may use adult relationships to gain access to children.

* The pedophile may spend years working up to a position of authority and trust within a church, school, or youth organization in order to have access to children. Of course, most such individuals (clergy, teachers, youth leaders) in these types of authoritative positions have no sexual interest in children.

Child Molesters:

* The non-pedophilic molester is someone whose primary sexual orientation includes adults, but who may molest children in a maladaptive attempt to meet emotional needs.

* Research has found that many men who molest their own children or related female children have sexual interests that are indistinguishable from those of non-offending males.

* Data suggest incestuous offenders, regardless of the gender of the victim, have lower numbers of victims and are less likely to be rearrested for new sex crimes after they have been convicted.

* A child molester may turn to a child for sex out of a perceived inability to be close with an adult partner, out of poor self-esteem, or to escape feelings of powerlessness and loneliness. This type of offender usually has had appropriate (but often dysfunctional) relationships with peers and may be married.

* Outcome studies have demonstrated consistently low rates of recidivism (relapse) for incestuous offenders.

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New studies are showing many pedophiles, mostly male but some female, choose their field of study/career path according to which profession will give them authority over children and easy access to children.

The continual increase in the use of internet pornography is alarming. Males, females; children and adults, have instant access to it. Hearts will continue to harden, brain chemistry will continue to change since addiction always requires—more— requires different. One view of porn can lead to another; can lead to more wrong choices which lead to a seared conscience. Victims become no more than objects in an abuser’s life because emotional relationships have been replaced with images and fantasy. Because of the seared conscience the victimizer does not believe they are doing anything wrong; and may even believe the child deserves it.

If the perpetrator has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and/or is a sociopath they have no other point of reference than themselves. They believe the world and everything/everyone in it exists for their needs and wants. They live their life on stage acting according to how they believe their audience, at the moment, wants to see them. They often are charming, have terrific personalities, ooze compassion, can be dynamic speakers/preachers and are Academy Award worthy actors. When backed in a corner or caught; they have the ability to talk their way out of everything. Here me: They could violate you, violate your child, burn down your house in front of your very eyes and then; with a few hours and persuasive words, convince you they did not do it, someone else did it, and they were set up to look guilty. The worst part: You would believe them. That is how good they are with words and acting.

Next week’s Toxic Tuesday will address: What child predators look for when choosing a victim, ways you can protect your child, and symptoms of child sexual abuse.

If you are in danger or you have a child being abused, please leave immediately and seek help. Instances of children making up stories of child abuse are rare. Always believe the child. In the right margin of my blog you will find links to articles on abusive relationships, resources for counseling services and referrals, a link for those who are victims of domestic abuse, and a link for Christian survivors.