Tag Archives: Visionary Womanhood

Validation and Help for Abused Women

Yes, yes I did read the Gary Thomas blog earlier this week! My text messages, emails and Facebook messages have been lighting up with the forwarded article.

I’m always grateful to read a godly man addressing an issue that is largely overlooked in the Christian community. More than overlooked, it is commonly hushed, ignored, or mishandled. (*Disclaimer: I’m not including my home church in this statement. I’m pleased to say that they have addressed abuse in the home on multiple occasions and support the abused spouse and/or child in their civil/legal and biblical recourse to report and/or leave an abusive person and seek help and safety.)

The church overall; however, is utterly failing abused women and children. The church often insists on the victim submitting, forgiving, forgetting, enduring, staying, saving the husband’s reputation, the church’s reputation, and…I’ve even heard; not obscuring the name of Christ.

I’m quite confident Christ does not need us to protect his reputation. He is secure in who He is and He will never ask us to protect an institution over an individual.

“I am God, and I’m passionate about one thing; My relationship with you.” Exodus 34:14 Paraphrased

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves;
    ensure justice for those being crushed.
Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless,
    and see that they get justice.” Proverbs 31:8-9 NLT

If you haven’t read the Gary Thomas article; here it is. My heart is for every church staff member, leader, teacher and attendee to read, understand, and then step forward when you learn of abuse. Abuse victims need validation, understanding and help achieving safety.

I’m including multiple links to help those living in an abusive relationship. These links are what I consider the cream of the crop. The best for quickly understanding what God has to say about the victim, the abuser, and the means for obtaining help, safety, sanity and healing.

Click the below links for more information. Also, please copy the ‘Enough is Enough’ article and distribute it to your church staff and leadership. An abused woman in your church will be thankful.

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Gary Thomas article: Enough is Enough

Leslie Vernick
Leslie Vernick,Photo credit: Twitter profile picture

Leslie Vernick:Author of… The Emotionlly Destructive Relationship and The Emotionally Destructive Marriage. If you are in a difficult or abusive relationship, Leslie’s website is the place to begin for help, hope and healing. Leslie also provides a great blog community of support  for women in destructive and abusive marriages.

 

unholy-charade

A Cry for Justice: Awakening the evangelical church to domestic violence and abuse in its midst. 

Jeff Crippen, author and pastor for over 30 years, and Barbara Roberts, author and survivor of domestic abuse, created this website to:

 

visionary-womanhood

 

Visionary Womanhood: Because to live courageously, we need to see clearly. This is another blog community for women who want to recover their sanity by learning to identify and heal from emotional and spiritual abuse.  

 

Toxic Tuesday: Warnings and Red Flags

Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard small

 

Toxic Tuesday: Warnings and Red Flags

I’ve found a few articles written by other bloggers that I know will appeal to the GiveMe Chocolate readers. I’m finding the, ‘cream of the crop,’ articles to help you possibly avoid toxic relationships. I posted one such article recently, “Ten Toxic Traits.”

A question I have often been asked is, “How do we protect our children from abusive, toxic personalities?”

I wish I had an answer. If only there was a full-proof way to avoid such relationships. A 100%—fully healed—heart back—guarantee for those who find themselves living in such a relationship. There isn’t. Christians who are mature, prayer covered people with a daily relationship with God can find themselves in an abusive, toxic relationship. In scripture we find a God-ordained toxic marriage between Hosea and Gomer; recorded in the book of Hosea.

I found another well written article, “Deal Breakers: Advice to Unmarried Women (and Daughters)” at Visionary Womanhood: Because to live courageously, we need to see clearly. The article was written to help women avoid marrying abusers.  In today’s world, full of self-centeredness, pornography, and personality disorders; specifically, narcissistic personality disorder—it’s becoming increasingly difficult to recognize false advertisers; also known as: A wolf in sheep’s clothing, a street angel and home devil, a biblical fool, a toxic person—an abuser.

Occasionally I can see the search terms entered when people stumble across my blog. Take a look at what some of the search terms are:

  • How to avoid toxic people
  • Help for an abusive Christian marriage
  • Interacting with narcissistic people
  • Why do I allow abusive Christian people to bother me
  • Abusive missionary husband
  • Help for abused missionary married to narcissistic personality disorder
  • How to thrive in an abusive relationship with pastor missionary
  • Difference between immaturity and controlling abusive boyfriend
  • How to confront an abusive person
  • Christian therapeutic separation
  • Covert narcissists
  • Toxic relationships in scripture
  • Does the Bible say I have to stay in an abusive marriage
  • What would Jesus do in an abusive relationship
  • Christian narcissistic personality disorder
  • Leaving a toxic relationship
  • Biblical fool modern-day narcissist
  • Wives that predators choose
  • Emotionally toxic people
  • How to protect from crazy makers
  • Detachment in verbally abusive relationships marriage
  • Scripture to help me trust God to handle abusive person
  • When a narcissist invades your boundaries
  • Writing a letter to someone toxic in your life
  • Manipulators abusers defending yourself
  • How to keep calm and walk away from abusive relationship
  • How to pray for someone in a toxic relationship
  • Biblical fools
  • What does the Bible say about divorcing the mentally ill
  • Traits of a crazy maker husband
  • How toxic people keep you off guard

And the above are just a sampling from a list far too long to include here.

 

“An abuser doesn’t introduce himself like this, “Hello – it’s nice to meet you. I’d like to take you on a whirlwind romance, sweep you off your feet, marry you, and then abuse you until death do us part.” Tweet This They follow in the footsteps of their father, the devil. They enter your world like an angel of light. A thing of beauty and wonder.” ~ Visionary Womanhood

You NEED to read this! For yourself or for someone you know or love. There are excellent points to ponder, clues to look for, applications to be made, and at the end; there is a humorous video to break the mood of this heavy topic.

 

Be empowered: Advice to Unmarried Women and Daughters